Sunday, December 31, 2006

All Hands on Deck

I'm not even sure how to start this post. I think this sums things up....FUCK!!!!!

Oil, what the hell are you doing to me? I can barely formulate a clear sentence; the Oilers have caused me multiple strokes with their inconsistent play of late. Inconsistent? That doesn't even begin to describe it. Let's go over some stats for December (updated after the Calgary game).

-5 Wins and 9 Losses

-46 goals against and 35 goals for
-9 PP goals total (3 were in one game, a loss to LA). 26th on PP
-12 PP goals given up (3 in one game, twice). 3rd in PK
-Following a 3 game winning streak in early December, the boys have 2 wins and 8 losses in their last nine. Ouch

Okay, much of December was played without Smitty and Hemmer. BUT.....does that explain the Oiler's inability to play defense? The last time I looked, they weren't defensemen nor goalies. Whoa, hold it. Why not? I can't see it making things worse

Other thoughts: why is Thoresen not playing? He's sat the last five games and I'm not sure if he's playing tonight in Calgary. But Pouliot and Jacques are playing. Jacques is a lovely -8 and no points in 14 games. MacT, what the fuck are you doing? Put the Norwegian back in. He's sat long enough. Time to act like a coach, see if sitting will motivate him (update: he's playing tonight).

Lupul? I suggest we take him out back, shoot him. Put him and more importantly, the fans out of our misery. I just don't understand this kid. Is it the pressure of playing in his hometown, an actual hockey town? Bullshit. Suck it up bitch and show some intensity. I forget he's on this team many nights, he's that invisible.

I won't single out any defensemen out, but you all suck right now. ALL.

Roli....come back. I know you're in there. Please come back. Hang in there, you're get some defense help in March. I know it's a long wait (paging Kevin Lowe, get off your ass, make a deal. Or if time machines are plausible, go back and undue the Pronger trade. How fucking stupid do you have to be to trade one of the best d-men to someone in your conference, who already has one of the best d-men in the league already, and in return you get rookies. Nothing substantial, yet. Sure, in five years we're going to be loving Smid, hell maybe in two years. You needed to get a top two d-man in return. You got screwed on the deal. Burke is a bloody genius. He took you, and hard).

So Battle of Alberta tonight and I hoping this will turn the tide. Calgary always brings out the best in us and if there was any a time to bring out the best, it is NOW. Urgency boys, we need to see some urgency.

In closing, fire Simpson and MacTavish please. Off with their heads too.

UPDATE: Good and bad news. The good: Pronger broke his foot (hahahahahaha). The bad: Oilers suck. Lost to Calgary 4-2.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Coming Home

The greatest hockey player ever (in my mind) will have his number retired February 27th. Yes, Mark Messier, aka Moose, comes home to Edmonton. I've been waiting for this moment since he announced his retirement. Of course, New York had to retire his number first, but the best have been saved for last.

I want one thing on February 27th: TEARS. Mess blubbered like a wee little baby when the Rangers retired his number, and I want lots of tears for the Oilers. I want Mess to be crying on Gretzky's shoulder. Is that too much to ask?

Anyways, I'm looking forward to this night. I have my season ticket but I am going to buy a gold seat, sit practically in the front row. I saw front row for Fuhr's retirement, and it was truly a magical night. Coffey had his last year, and of course I was there to see it.

Of course, it's too bad it's against Phoenix. I don't like the thought of giving them two more points. We always seem to lose these ceremony nights, so don't expect the boys to win. Sad.

On another note, the boys rebounded quite nicely against Vancouver. They played a pretty good game. I can't remember the last time I said that. A complete game. Yeah they got a couple lucky goals, but this team needed to get a break go their way.

The Oilers will be playing some crappy team from the US. I can't remember their names, I've blocked it out. Ok, it's Carolina Hurricanes. Blah, blah, I hate them, blah, blah. I have never watched the end of game seven, nor do I intend to. I'm sure my friends remember me turning the tv off after the empty net goal. I refused to watch it. But of course, I could not keep away the pictures of Brind'Amour's ugly ass mug holding OUR cup. It was on every paper, on every website, everywhere.

Also, our favorite ref will be working tonight....Magoo. I hope he gets hit with another beer!!

Wow, I'm watching TSN and they're showing an Ottawa game. Wow, shocking. But of course, that means we get to watch TSN kiss Ovechkin's ass all night. I'm glad to be at the Oilers game later, so I don't have to listen to Pierre McGuire raving about the Canes. Oh yes, Brind'Amour is amazing, Ward is the greatest goalie ever. Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss!!!

Jussi will be starting tonight. I'm actually not surprised. Roli had a good game against Vancouver so he can sit and relax. Let's hope Jussi can bring back his magical play from the playoffs. Keep smiling at the Canes, the reflection from your teeth should blind them!!!

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Where's that button?

It is time. Time to hit the panic button.

Last night is the bottom of the barrel. The Oilers lost to Columbus. Yes, Columbus. One word describes last night: embarrassing. I don't care if Hitchcock has taken over reigns of the Bluejackets, this is a nightmare. Columbus is horrible. HORRIBLE. Icing to this cake, we've lost Smitty for some time due to a fractured thumb. He's been played on the IR, so that means what? Probably gone for over a month, maybe two?

So now the Oilers are without Moreau, Hemsky and Smyth. So how many rookies do we have on the team now? And how many players with extremely limited experience? Too bloody many. Stoll, Horcoff and Pisani must step it up and help carry the load. Roloson is tired of carrying this team. Help that man out.

So does Smitty's injury postpone a trade for a d-man? We can afford to give up any forwards right now, but after losing three games, they need help. Can they afford NOT to make a trade? Roloson needs help. Without him, this team would be sitting at the bottom of the standings.

Send out the SOS!!